Why? I Am Not Sure, But Grateful I Am

I have been thinking lot about my twelve-year-old self since I did the exercise writing that little  girl a note of reassurance. I have reflected a lot on my upbringing and the person who I am today. I am somewhat baffled as I try to uncover how or why I got to where I am today. First, off it is difficult to see myself as "successful" because that would mean complimenting myself which is hard to do. I have gotten better since my path of a positive mindset and outlook, but it is a struggle to accept compliments and more so claim that I am a success. What is success anyway? I don't measure it by money or status as much a I do by happiness and service, and maybe that is why it feels more like a major accomplishment to me.

 I can't decide on one thing as much as I can on a series of events and important people, and this makes me think how we can support our students to capitalize on these things. I am fortunate to have parents who love and support me, and I think most importantly instilled the value of a strong work ethic. I used to think that maybe strong work ethic was a lost cause, but I do witness it every day in so many leaders, teachers, and even students--including my own children. I know that as I was growing up,  I was so fortunate to have parents who loved me and modeled what such amazing strong work ethic was.

My parents worked at and met a the local lamp plant. My dad eventually went into business with this brother, but worked full days to make it work, and it was hard labor that has taken its toll on him.  In addition to working at the sawmill, he farmed his property. My mom started on the line at 18 and move her way up to forman and then an HR job with the same plant.  She worked the night shift for most of my young childhood. I remember my dad getting me ready for school and helping me with homework.

We also had jobs and had to help around the house. This taught me a lot. Grades and schooling were important to my parents, which made them important to me. I struggled but worked hard and usually received good grades (A/Bs), and when I got anything lower, I was harder on myself than my parents every could be. My dad did pay me for good grades, but I never really did it for the money. I think it was his personal investment that he made into me during our study sessions that gave me the drive to do well. I have always wanted to make my parents proud. They worked so hard to give my sister and I want we needed and usually wanted. I had some good teachers, but I also had some not so great teachers. I wasn't fortunate enough to have a Rick Wormeli or a teacher focused on me learning the content as much as earning points. I also did not have a Kim Rock to support my reading or a Sue Kraske to help me in math; I was pulled out for both in grade school. However, that sense of pride and strong work ethic gave me the internal drive to constantly do my best.

There was always the expectation from my parents that I go to college, and I was so blessed that my parents were able to pay for my undergrad, and the savings that they set up for me was able to pay for my masters and some of a down payment on a house. I also worked through high school and college which continued to reinforce the value of money, and furthermore, gave me the gift of independence.

After college though, I think the adversity I experienced added fuel to my drive to make something of my life. I wonder how some people make it through life's challenges while others do not. The love and support of my parents assisted me in conquering yet another battle in my life. This makes me even more concerned for our students who do not have this love and support at home--even more important on making sure that they get it at school.

Even after thought and reflection, I am not sure what variables lead to success or ones personal definition of what success is. I only hope that my husband and I are giving our children the same foundation, and that my work as an educator and leader does the same for the children I serve. If anything, it is a team effort of love, support, and modeling strong work ethic, kindness, and overcoming adversity. While growth mindset was not intentionally or explicitly taught, my parents never made me feel like there was anything that I couldn't do, and if something was difficult, they encouraged me to keep trying.

Whatever the mix or combination, I am grateful for my parents and all of the people in my life who inspired me to never let the voice of doubt win.

Note to 12-Year-Old Self

To My 12-Year-Old Self

At 45 you will be faced with a turning point in your career and life, but all of your life’s challenges until then mixed with all of the support of loved ones in your life will help you with this decision and life journey.

You will be a beautiful person no matter what size or shape you are. Your merit is not based on your appearance as much as it is based on your actions.

You will want to be an attorney, judge, politician, and eventually the first woman President. Your main goal is to change the world, but life happens and you will do this in other ways. Be open to those and realize that this journey is not a failure but a different kind of opportunity.

Schooling will be difficult and you have to work really hard, but in time you will find the content that you are passionate about and people who inspire you to learn. I know you are skeptical, but you will eventually love reading and learning so much that you will be a lifelong learner.

There will be a time in your life when you feel that it’s over. However, this will be a time of new beginnings. While you will suffer tremendous loss and lack direction, your family and a very dear friend will help you get through it. No matter how much divorce feels like an ending, you are so much stronger than you ever thought.

Your first teaching job and students pull you through this defeat and out of the deep, dark hole you were in, and it’s that moment that you learn that gratitude is the key to a happy life. By focusing on what’s right and the possibilities, you do open yourself up to love again. Take the risks; open up to possibilities. It is not only OK to move away and turn your life upside down, it is what you need.

You will further your education which will supported by a new love who supports you through teaching and pushes you into other aspirations--waking up your love of learning and leadership. You will be able to get through tough principalships, deployments, and whatever life brings you because you have the strength in you, and you will have a partner who loves you for who you are and everything you can become. He and your two beautiful, kind children give you a new and complete fulfillment of life.

While you will not be the President of the United States, you will become the President of an association and will work to spread your belief in positivity and gratitude. You will earn two bachelor's, a master’s, a specialist, and your doctorate even though you heard a teacher tell your mom in 5th grade that college wouldn’t be a feasible option. You love, read, meet amazing people, and you learn that the power to make a difference is within you.

The best advice that I can give you now is to not left the voice of doubt tell you that you are not ready or overpower the voice of passion and self drive. You are ready for whatever life brings you. Accept the challenge. You will thrive on it, but remember you need the loved ones in your life, so as you take care of yourself and strive to better who you are, remember to express gratitude for those who helped you to get there. My best advice to you is to jump, Shanna. You will have people who love and support you catch you when you fall, and eventually you will soar. 

Lessons Learned from Allyson Apsey's The Path to Serendipity

I just finished The Path to Serendipity last month, and I want to be a better person because of the words and stories Allyson Apsey shared. This is a must read! This a powerful, inspirational, and reflective read. The author, Allyson Apsey, puts herself out there, modeling risk taking and growth mindset, making herself vulnerable, sharing her stories, and offering wisdom and insight that she had learned during her journey of life and a career in education. I couldn't put the book down. Allyson shares her heart in her words, inviting you in. I felt like I was crying, laughing, and even feeling failure with her. There are so many lesson reminders in the book. If you are looking for inspiration, asking yourself how can you get through another school year, or just wanting to bring more joy and purpose to your life, work and others, get this book. Do yourself a favor and do the reflections at the end of each chapter too. Connect with her hashtag (#Path2Serendipity), share and learn with others. This is one of those pieces that the more you put into it, the more you will get out of it. Here is a collection of my  
reflections:  Twitter feed presented on Wakelet 

Reflect, Refresh, Forgive, Repeat

I know that I am not alone. As an educator and school leader, April, May, and June are a whirlwind of long 14-16 hour days, increased discipline, and work to finish a year strong but also plan for the year to come. It gets mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. I am lucky that after 12 years of opening and closing school years I know it is only a temporary state of craziness. I am even more fortunate to have a life partner who knows this as well and reminds me of it when I start to fall apart; I usually have several days of crying due to exhaustion and not knowing how to keep up with the demands. He always has a way of reminding me that I get through it; I always do. I also remind myself that even in these times, I always want to get up and go to school/work. Everyone is not fortunate enough to have a career that they love, and other than the occasional snow day dance or end-of-the year blues, I love what I do and the people (big and small) who learn and serve with me.

It is during these times of exhaustion, stress, and sometimes hurt that we tend to resort to negatively. This is easy to do when we are in this state. I found myself slipping after some hard to hear feedback, during reviewing data portfolios and completing teacher evaluation meetings, and dealing with escalating student discipline or upset parents. My coping skills are not always the best. I stress eat and revert to unhealthy meals and binging on chocolate. I start to miss a day or two of workouts, but I always forgive myself, lean on the people who are my trusted advisers and friends, and remind myself to snap out of it. We have to allow ourselves time to reflect, to let us feel what we are feeling, but also remember the choice to live and be positive: reflect, refresh, forgive, and repeat.

Positivity is a lifestyle change. Life has its ups and downs. How we choose to keep going during the down times matters. I have learned that it is OK to reflect and allow myself to feel what I am. The key is not allowing myself to stay there long. Reflect and learn, refresh the mind, body, and spirit, and most importantly forgive ourselves, so we can move on.  Positive reminders, healthy habits, the people in my life are all tools that I use to get me back on the path to positivity. The power of positivity lives inside me! Being positive not only promotes happiness, it leads to better health. In addition, we become a part of helping and reminding others to be positive. More positive people can only help make the world a better place.