Remembering the Praise: Having a Positive Influence on Our Children

Now that our oldest child has become an adult, I have done a great deal of reflecting. I am so very proud of the people our kids are and know that they both are destined to do great things and continue to develop into compassionate, successful beings. My husband and I exhibit incredible work ethic. We both work two jobs and spend countless hours and thought on our work. Reflecting on my life, I have a great deal of drive to do well, be the best version of myself, and try and support and inspire others to do the same.

Over the last 18 years, I have used that drive to push our children. Now, I wonder about being too critical or having too high of expectations for them. Being a child of mine can't be easy. I am not sure that I have shared my admiration, appreciation, and pride with them enough.

Some parents may praise their children too much or maybe do not hold them accountable enough. I am mostly guilty of pushing too hard and not congratulating them enough for all they have accomplished. I am getting better now even though it has taken 18 years to do so. I am in awe at all Sydney has done and all she wants to become. As a leader and educator, I am thrilled that she wants to pursue education. I am so proud that she has spent two years in classrooms learning more about the art of teaching and solidifying her decisions so far. She also secured 3 different scholarships adding up to a little more than half of her first semester tuition at MSU.

Whether it's in sports, a test, a class grade, etc., it is important to not just praise the outcome but to praise the journey of work, overcoming adversity, and accomplishing success. Our son is coming up on his junior year in high school, the most difficult. I vow to include more praise combined with the expectations. We will also continue to work on modeling and promoting self reflection--an important component in success. In addition, even adult children need to know how much we as parents value them. I will not forget to remind both children the pride I have in being their mom and their efforts to be the best versions of themselves.

When a loved one takes pride in our work or in who we are, it can be not only fulfilling but also reinforce the desire for success. Is there someone you could share a little praise with for what he or she has done?

Summer of Learning...and Sharing

This has been an exceptional summer so far! Getting time to just reflect and write about it has been a challenge. Just two weeks ago, I returned from China. Through AASA (The School Superintendents Association), I was able to visit 5 institutions (bureaus, institutes, and associations), about six different schools, and partake in several amazing cultural experiences.

AASA Discover China Experiences

This experience was like nothing that I have ever encountered, and I am so grateful to Triway, AASA, and the hosting institutions for giving me such an amazing journey. Not only did I learn about the Chinese culture and education systems, I also learned from my new friends and colleagues, the other Discover China delegates from Alaska, Arizona, and Pennsylvania. I was able to share about Michigan with the lens of MEMSPA (Michigan Elementary and Middle School Association) and MAS (Milan Area Schools) and meet other middle schools to bridge learning possibilities on both ends. I have so much respect for the Chinese culture, and I can only hope that we put the respect back into education that they have kept alive for thousands of years. Educators are highly respected. I learned 5 Chinese values at a tea ceremony that I attended: Sky (God), ground (Earth), emperor, parents, and teacher. Teacher is one of the main values which surprised and impressed me more than anything else. I love this notion and can only hope that our culture can adopt this practice. Our educators deserve this respect for all they do.  I was also impressed with the facilities, architure, and technology in China. All in all, we have a great deal that we can learn from one another, and I hope that this experience has opened some doors to doing just that.

Just three days after returning from China, I was back on a plane heading to the NAESP (National Association of Elementary (PreK-8) School Principals) national conference in Spokane, Washington. I was excited to connect with my MEMSPA family from the past decade and NAESP network from the past five years. I really enjoy spending time with our executive director, Paul Liabenow, who models servant leadership. I also appreciate seeing my mentors, Debbie McFalone, Derek Wheaton, Eric Cardwell, Chuck Shultz, and Michelle Allen, and friends/colleagues Ben Gilpin, Jon Wennstrom, Aime McCaw, Molly Funk, and our rainbow of Serendipity, Allyson Apsey. In addition, I was able to connect with other state reps and even some social media connections. 

Session Presentations and MEMSPA PLN

My conference started early with the NAESP Mentor Train the Trainer session. I was honored that I was asked to lead the training. Over the past nine months, I worked with a team of eight other principals under NAESP and Collaborative Communications to help revise and update the Leading Learning Communities publication. I am so impressed with the feedback they took and the model, pillars, practices, and priorities that make up the book. In addition, it is filled with relevant resources and supports for all principals no matter where she or he is in her or his profession. The great thing about the session is that there were so many trainers in the room that the conversations were rich and I learned a great deal as well. In addition to the pre-conference full day session, I has three sessions to present at the #NAESP19 conference.

What was I thinking when I put in four proposals? I was trying to increase my chances of presenting the the national level. Last year was my first year presenting at NAESP, and I loved it. I have been presenting with MEMSPA for about 10 years now and presented nationally as a teacher.  I really enjoy public speaking and teaching just as much as I enjoy learning. Little did I know that three of my sessions would be selected for the conference. Needless to say, I had an exhausting week. In addition to my four presentations over the course of the 4 days, I also attended 8 additional sessions and truly appreciate the learning and the takeaways from so many speakers. Both Razia Jan and Ryan Sheehy (@sgeegrtw) reinforced my belief that it all starts with one and one person can and does make a difference. Jennifer Kirksey knocked it out of the park with her restorative practices background and resources. Amazing authors Allyson Apsey (@AllysonApsey) and Dr. Brad Gustafson (@gustafsonBrad) shared some tips on publishing and more importantly shared the struggle to get where they are today.  Rejection is a part of the learning and journey to success. Fullan kept us focused on the research and Kwame Alexander finished the conference off by motivating us and proving we can and do make a difference. Through failures and successes and connections with others around us, he left us with a powerful message to advocate for our kids and to work to make a difference. 

Now in just five days, I am back at the airport, but looking forward to our family vacation to Australia. Our daughter, Sydney, leaves for MSU soon, and I our son, Xavier, is heading into his junior year. Where does time go? Here's to hoping it slows down as I focus the next few weeks on what matters most in my world and the foundation to make all the learning and accomplishments posted above even possible. Open your hearts and minds and the foundation to do great things is built. I am blessed to have my family's support through it all.