#UnitedWeLead: Principals on a Mission

This past June a team of MEMSPA board members collaborated and became solution seekers and fighter starters to ignite not only a purpose but also create a movement to support our members, educators, and students of color. This group of leaders, even in the midst of COVID, worked to find ways to collect tinder and kindling to fuel a very important fire for the year. 

Through this brainstorming and planning, an event was ignited. Following all of the safety protocols and guidelines, principals came together to learn about ourselves, our biases, and how to lead and foster courageous conversations around race. Principals from around the state brought their own courage, vulnerabilities, and passions to join the mission to be and create change--to support each other and our school communities in extinguishing injustice and cultivating equity.

Through climate adversity of the cold rain and wind, hope was built on the words of our Black colleagues who inspired us through opening, mid-day, and closing remarks. We learned to get into the good and necessary trouble as Michael Johnson inspired us with John Lewis's words. We were awaken by the words of Detra Fields as she reminded us of all of the injustices that are still present to this day. Lastly, we were moved to be change agents by Jeremy Patterson as he demonstrated you can create waves with the smallest ripple.

Ripple was my word for the day, as we started out in small, masked, and socially-distanced groups/circles under tents around the MEMSPA property. I was hoping the day would create a ripple that would take leaders back to their buildings with confidence and tools to not forget about the important work we need to do even in the midst of COVID, virtual and remote learning, and other restrictions. This work cannot wait. 

The focus of the day was to provide experiences about self exploration and give a platform for having difficult, courageous, and honest conversations. We ended our day with commitments to continue this work. The heat from what we started that day is proof that #UnitedWeLead and #TogetherWeCan. 

Unprecedented Times: A Chance to Find the Hope

As I was taking a Peloton On Demand spin class with Robin Arzon, her words resonated with me. My #LeadPositive vision and journey which started six years ago has been a challenge the last few weeks. The country (and world) has been attacked by a virus, my school is closed and my worries have escalated, especially about my students and families who I know need the comfort and connections of school, and my husband has been called to serve once again, leaving my own family without our rock and the person who keeps our family at its best.

Some find this hard to believe, but I was always a worry wort. My mother had to get me a worry stone as an adolescent, and I did a lot of praying to help me get through imagining the worse. With a lot of love and support, and the desire to find the beauty in life, I was able to shift my mindset and my outlook on life. I choose to be a glass overflowing person, yet it is not an easy feat right now.

With all of these concerns consuming me (and without Mack here to help me through it), I started to revert back to the fear and worries. I worry about his safety, my son's medical health, my daughter's first year of college, my parents (all 4 who are elderly with healthy complications), and then my staff and students, especially those students who find comfort and safety in school. At first the business of the pandemic and the educational shift kept me too busy to worry, but as a new routine developed, the anxiety started to creep in and the worries escalated. However, one morning as I listened to Arzon tell me (and the other 30K riders) that we don't always have to be positive but we need to illuminate with hope and sometimes bend so we don't break. I needed her words; they really helped me shift and adapt my mindset back on track.

We are not in this alone. So many educators, medical professionals, families, and essential employees are coming together for the greater good. So here's my hope--what is illuminating my life and vision: we need to make the best of this horrific occurrence. Let's return to human connection, empathy, and appreciation for others and the blessings that we do have. Let us take this adversity and use it to bring us together, to remind us of our duty to each other and the strength to overcome obstacles. I choose to find hope, and I will embed these emotions into my being to help me to never lose focus on the power of love, hope, empathy, appreciation, and connectedness. I hope you do too.

#OneWord2020: Growth

Choosing one word to guide a year is no easy feat. Furthermore, evaluating merit and accomplishments of that focus can be even a bigger challenge especially when you hope to have an impact on others.

I am a work in progress. I aspire to be the best version of myself.

My #oneword2018 was humanity, and while I worked to model selflessness, compassion, and kindness, I feel as though I can always work harder in this area. Charity work is not the only component of humanity. Empathy, acceptance, compassion, and grace are all key elements. I only hope that others feel that I model these on a continued basis.

Last year, my #oneword2019 was to inspire both myself and others to be the best versions of ourselves--especially through the power of relationships. I worked hard to push myself to explore my possibilities and am really proud of not only my own accomplishments but those of my family and friends. There were so many inspiring accomplishments in 2019!

This year, choosing my #oneword2020 was even harder as I reflected on the past two years. Several words came to mind, but I also used my future to help guide my choice. It is my goal in the next 2 years to advance my career to the district level. In preparing for that, I will be taking on a year-long, blended learning aspiring superintendent's academy. I will also continue to lead mentor trainings, and I am very excited to be working with NAESP (National Association of Elementary [and Middle] School Principals) and HDE (Hawaii Department of Education) to do my first National Mentor Training of the year this February. The last part of my professional growth goal, and most important, rests with my staff and students as we continue to make Milan Middle School a place where relationships matter, character counts, and people are empowered to be the best versions of themselves. My work is to help teachers, paras, and other staff make MMS the best place for our students by pushing us to all to grow. This year, we have learned that our work starts with making sure students are cared for and have their basic needs met. While this is a huge challenge, if anyone can do it, I know the amazing team at MMS can do it. We will do it together.

Personally, I hope to grow as well. I want be be healthier, and I want to be a better friend and family member as well as a better and kinder person to my self. I am not as good as extending grace, kindness, and forgiveness to myself as I am to others, and I am going to grow in this area as well. Self love is key as it is something that we model to others. I am so grateful to the many mentors, friends, and family that have been examples of amazing people who continue to make my growth and development possible. Continuing to have these cheerleaders, supporters, critiques, and mentors in my life will be key to my work this year as I grow. I am thankful to my supportive family members, my MEMSPA family, my MMS family, and all of my colleagues and friends who continue to inspire my to become the best version of myself.

#MEMSPA19 Superhero Conference: Super Epic

Wow! What a conference....the best one yet. I have been so fortunate to be a part of the Michigan Elementary and Middle School Principals Association, and serve on the board for the past six years. It was thirteen years ago where I connected with now president, Michelle Allen, who took me in and truly made me feel like I didn't make the biggest career mistake by taking on the principalship. Fast forward to the present day, and the entire MEMSPA family (office staff, our amazing executive director, the board, our LM facilitators/coaches, my region leadership, and the entire amazing network of members continue to inspire me to be a better leader. I always leave the conference with ideas to put into practice to help support my staff and students. This year continued the trend. Not only did the people and experience fill my bucket, but the new knowledge and reminders were just what I needed during this challenging year.

Takeaways:

This year's theme was a great one. We have so many super principals, and the themes that I am taking away this year include relationships, whole child, and self care.

Sanfelippo reminded us how important it is to making the "awe" moments visible to others. His examples and practices are one of the most crucial elements to helping change the story in education. Throughout all the sessions, relationships were a common theme. Positivity Project leaders discussed how their work has transformed their schools and relationships with and among all stakeholder groups.

Also the theme of the whole child was evident in several of the sessions. John Maxwell's quote: "Students don't care how much you know until they know how much you care" is even a greater reality now. We need to start with important basic skills that students are lacking before even tackling the curriculum. Ben and his amazing team from Warner shared their practices to be champions for kids and how PBIS earnings that involve time with adults is so valuable (and free!). We need to have positive interactions with students (and staff) every single day. In the last 30+years, empathy has decreased 40% while narcissism has increased 30%. What are we going to do about this? I learned from Domagalski, Weldon, and Swegles that empathy has to be a part of every curriculum. It's a must have for a better school culture--and for a better world! It's not one more thing on the plate. It is the plate. I also learned from Allen that we need to work to flip our tier support triangle and ways to do just that.

Trust with students and staff is so vital. Dr. Anthony Muhammad reminded us of this in his keynote. He also reviewed the change process and making sure that we have a rational system that includes the Communication: why (cognitive), Trust: who (emotional), Support/Capacity: how (functional), and the Accountability: do (return). Healthy cultures are a mutual relationship which includes a balance of support and accountability. He reminds us that ordering people to change doesn't work, but neither was leaving them alone.

Self care and teacher care were also hot topics, and several ideas are swarming in my head on how to better support our staff and selves in addition to our students. Our infamous Dr. Debbie McFalcone reminds us of our own self-awareness and the impact of our emotions as well as the importance of feedback.  Dr. Marcia Tate shared research on the order of change (along with some amazing presentation protocols). We need to be better about our attitudes as leaders and educators, but our behaviors are even more crucial. Order of change: leader/teacher behaviors, student outcomes, then in time leader/teacher attitudes. Interesting order of change: BOA: Behaviors, outcomes, attitudes. We start by changing our own behavior. She also reminded us that laughter will add 10 years to our lives. I need to laugh more!

I was excited to present on my leadership vision of #LeadPositive, and I feel very honored being recognized this year by region 2. My success comes from the wonderful professionals on my team. I am very fortunate to have caring and dedicated professionals with me--supporting our kids.

Shout Outs:

Region 2 principals, especially those in Washtenaw County who serve on the regional board, have been amazing supports and partners in our efforts to bring the benefits of MEMSPA to our region. You all are my forever friends, and I love you immensely.

Several principals were honored during the conference, and I am very excited to see Amie McCaw recognized as our Michigan Principal of the Year. She leads by example in not only her amazing school but also the state as a whole. She has worked the last several years to secure and offer meaningful, thought-provoking PD for MEMSPA principals. Congrats, Amie!

In addition, I am honored to call Madame President, Michelle Allen, my mentor and friend. She did an amazing job this week leading and celebrating principals. Thank you, Michelle! Thanks for all of our past presidents as well. We have a long line of mentors and MEMSPA supporters.

Thank you to our lovely Leadership Matters facilitators, Debbie and Derek! Your love, passion, enthusiasm, and care for our members is like no other. We are all better leaders because of you.

Other faces of MEMSPA include Allyson Aspey, David Simpson,  Jon Wennstrom, Ben Gilpin, Jeremy Patterson, and our very own rockstar, Mike Domagalski. Your leadership, advocacy, support of others and our growth in the profession are unmatched. Thank you for your leadership and most of all friendship. The entire board and region representatives are truly assets to not only the organization but the profession as a whole. Thank you!

Lastly, the MEMSPA office needs recognized for the countless hours, thought, and details that went into making this conference EPIC! Thank you Annette for your 30+ years of service and making sure that everyone and everything are perfect. Taryn--thank you for your tech superpowers, details, and unflagging support of MEMSPA and principals. Syndee--you have been an amazing addition to our organization. Your contacts, drive, vision, and most of all, your caring, loving personality for all of our members have been evident. Last but not least, Paul. Your mentorship, vision, care, and connections have been the face and heart of MEMSPA. Thank you for putting so much time, and most importantly, love, into our association.

Keeping the Positive with 7 Reminders from Frozen

Yes, I am 40 something (almost 50!), and my kids are 16 and 18, but we still ventured out this weekend to see Frozen 2. We all saw the first one together premiere on a Disney Cruise, so my kids partly entertained me by going, but they also wanted to see it. 😉I have used one of Elsa's quotes many times since the first movie came out in 2013. "Let it go" is not only a song from the film that topped the charts, but it has been an important reminder to me when I cannot control everything--no matter how hard I try.

"Let it go." --Elsa

So, the next time someone is not so nice or causes you bad feelings, let it go. Don't hold onto it. Free yourself from the "shoulda, coulda, woulda" syndrome. If you made a mistake, let it go. Apologize, learn from it, but move on. Don't let it, yourself, or others stop you from becoming your best self.

"My love is not fragile."--Kristoff

Even in difficult times or when others do things that have a negative impact, unconditional love is not fragile. We don't stop loving when things become challenging. This is when our love is even more important--and even quite powerful--to some. I think of several of my students going through trauma. These experiences can place a lot of hardship on us, especially when these students do everything in their power to keep control and test our commitment to them. Let the bad stuff go, and let the love and care prevail. 

"You are not responsible for their choices."--Anna

This one comes in handy with the previous example. People and how they behave, act, or the choices they make do not need to affect our path to positivity. We may become tested and slip from time to time, but we do not have to let the choices of others determine our own outlook and goals.

"Fear cannot be trusted."--Elsa

We cannot let fear consume us. Fear is the biggest obstacle to trust.  Fear is the biggest obstacle to success. We cannot allow fear to stop us from trying, from trusting, from loving. A life without risk will not give us the fullest outcomes. The answer to the doubt of "what if it doesn't work out" is always, "what if it does." 

"Show Yourself. Step into your Power." --Elsa

While we may not all have "magical" powers, we do have the power to do great things in our profession and lives. We cannot make the best of ourselves or our lives if we are not putting ourselves out there and stepping up to do the work. We can only expect our students to be as innovative as our teachers, and our teachers as our leaders." How are your leading by example? 

"Some people are worth melting for." --Olaf

Education is quite the selfless profession. We give up so much of ourselves to others. We do it without asking for anything in return. The key that I have learned is making sure we take care of ourselves so we can keep on melting for others. 

"All one can do is the next right thing." --Anna

This is my favorite. We cannot lose sight of what is right by doing the next right thing. Even when times are hard, the goal is to keep moving forward: one right thing at a time. 

Remembering the Praise: Having a Positive Influence on Our Children

Now that our oldest child has become an adult, I have done a great deal of reflecting. I am so very proud of the people our kids are and know that they both are destined to do great things and continue to develop into compassionate, successful beings. My husband and I exhibit incredible work ethic. We both work two jobs and spend countless hours and thought on our work. Reflecting on my life, I have a great deal of drive to do well, be the best version of myself, and try and support and inspire others to do the same.

Over the last 18 years, I have used that drive to push our children. Now, I wonder about being too critical or having too high of expectations for them. Being a child of mine can't be easy. I am not sure that I have shared my admiration, appreciation, and pride with them enough.

Some parents may praise their children too much or maybe do not hold them accountable enough. I am mostly guilty of pushing too hard and not congratulating them enough for all they have accomplished. I am getting better now even though it has taken 18 years to do so. I am in awe at all Sydney has done and all she wants to become. As a leader and educator, I am thrilled that she wants to pursue education. I am so proud that she has spent two years in classrooms learning more about the art of teaching and solidifying her decisions so far. She also secured 3 different scholarships adding up to a little more than half of her first semester tuition at MSU.

Whether it's in sports, a test, a class grade, etc., it is important to not just praise the outcome but to praise the journey of work, overcoming adversity, and accomplishing success. Our son is coming up on his junior year in high school, the most difficult. I vow to include more praise combined with the expectations. We will also continue to work on modeling and promoting self reflection--an important component in success. In addition, even adult children need to know how much we as parents value them. I will not forget to remind both children the pride I have in being their mom and their efforts to be the best versions of themselves.

When a loved one takes pride in our work or in who we are, it can be not only fulfilling but also reinforce the desire for success. Is there someone you could share a little praise with for what he or she has done?

Summer of Learning...and Sharing

This has been an exceptional summer so far! Getting time to just reflect and write about it has been a challenge. Just two weeks ago, I returned from China. Through AASA (The School Superintendents Association), I was able to visit 5 institutions (bureaus, institutes, and associations), about six different schools, and partake in several amazing cultural experiences.

AASA Discover China Experiences

This experience was like nothing that I have ever encountered, and I am so grateful to Triway, AASA, and the hosting institutions for giving me such an amazing journey. Not only did I learn about the Chinese culture and education systems, I also learned from my new friends and colleagues, the other Discover China delegates from Alaska, Arizona, and Pennsylvania. I was able to share about Michigan with the lens of MEMSPA (Michigan Elementary and Middle School Association) and MAS (Milan Area Schools) and meet other middle schools to bridge learning possibilities on both ends. I have so much respect for the Chinese culture, and I can only hope that we put the respect back into education that they have kept alive for thousands of years. Educators are highly respected. I learned 5 Chinese values at a tea ceremony that I attended: Sky (God), ground (Earth), emperor, parents, and teacher. Teacher is one of the main values which surprised and impressed me more than anything else. I love this notion and can only hope that our culture can adopt this practice. Our educators deserve this respect for all they do.  I was also impressed with the facilities, architure, and technology in China. All in all, we have a great deal that we can learn from one another, and I hope that this experience has opened some doors to doing just that.

Just three days after returning from China, I was back on a plane heading to the NAESP (National Association of Elementary (PreK-8) School Principals) national conference in Spokane, Washington. I was excited to connect with my MEMSPA family from the past decade and NAESP network from the past five years. I really enjoy spending time with our executive director, Paul Liabenow, who models servant leadership. I also appreciate seeing my mentors, Debbie McFalone, Derek Wheaton, Eric Cardwell, Chuck Shultz, and Michelle Allen, and friends/colleagues Ben Gilpin, Jon Wennstrom, Aime McCaw, Molly Funk, and our rainbow of Serendipity, Allyson Apsey. In addition, I was able to connect with other state reps and even some social media connections. 

Session Presentations and MEMSPA PLN

My conference started early with the NAESP Mentor Train the Trainer session. I was honored that I was asked to lead the training. Over the past nine months, I worked with a team of eight other principals under NAESP and Collaborative Communications to help revise and update the Leading Learning Communities publication. I am so impressed with the feedback they took and the model, pillars, practices, and priorities that make up the book. In addition, it is filled with relevant resources and supports for all principals no matter where she or he is in her or his profession. The great thing about the session is that there were so many trainers in the room that the conversations were rich and I learned a great deal as well. In addition to the pre-conference full day session, I has three sessions to present at the #NAESP19 conference.

What was I thinking when I put in four proposals? I was trying to increase my chances of presenting the the national level. Last year was my first year presenting at NAESP, and I loved it. I have been presenting with MEMSPA for about 10 years now and presented nationally as a teacher.  I really enjoy public speaking and teaching just as much as I enjoy learning. Little did I know that three of my sessions would be selected for the conference. Needless to say, I had an exhausting week. In addition to my four presentations over the course of the 4 days, I also attended 8 additional sessions and truly appreciate the learning and the takeaways from so many speakers. Both Razia Jan and Ryan Sheehy (@sgeegrtw) reinforced my belief that it all starts with one and one person can and does make a difference. Jennifer Kirksey knocked it out of the park with her restorative practices background and resources. Amazing authors Allyson Apsey (@AllysonApsey) and Dr. Brad Gustafson (@gustafsonBrad) shared some tips on publishing and more importantly shared the struggle to get where they are today.  Rejection is a part of the learning and journey to success. Fullan kept us focused on the research and Kwame Alexander finished the conference off by motivating us and proving we can and do make a difference. Through failures and successes and connections with others around us, he left us with a powerful message to advocate for our kids and to work to make a difference. 

Now in just five days, I am back at the airport, but looking forward to our family vacation to Australia. Our daughter, Sydney, leaves for MSU soon, and I our son, Xavier, is heading into his junior year. Where does time go? Here's to hoping it slows down as I focus the next few weeks on what matters most in my world and the foundation to make all the learning and accomplishments posted above even possible. Open your hearts and minds and the foundation to do great things is built. I am blessed to have my family's support through it all.