Reflect, Refresh, Forgive, Repeat

I know that I am not alone. As an educator and school leader, April, May, and June are a whirlwind of long 14-16 hour days, increased discipline, and work to finish a year strong but also plan for the year to come. It gets mentally, physically, and emotionally draining. I am lucky that after 12 years of opening and closing school years I know it is only a temporary state of craziness. I am even more fortunate to have a life partner who knows this as well and reminds me of it when I start to fall apart; I usually have several days of crying due to exhaustion and not knowing how to keep up with the demands. He always has a way of reminding me that I get through it; I always do. I also remind myself that even in these times, I always want to get up and go to school/work. Everyone is not fortunate enough to have a career that they love, and other than the occasional snow day dance or end-of-the year blues, I love what I do and the people (big and small) who learn and serve with me.

It is during these times of exhaustion, stress, and sometimes hurt that we tend to resort to negatively. This is easy to do when we are in this state. I found myself slipping after some hard to hear feedback, during reviewing data portfolios and completing teacher evaluation meetings, and dealing with escalating student discipline or upset parents. My coping skills are not always the best. I stress eat and revert to unhealthy meals and binging on chocolate. I start to miss a day or two of workouts, but I always forgive myself, lean on the people who are my trusted advisers and friends, and remind myself to snap out of it. We have to allow ourselves time to reflect, to let us feel what we are feeling, but also remember the choice to live and be positive: reflect, refresh, forgive, and repeat.

Positivity is a lifestyle change. Life has its ups and downs. How we choose to keep going during the down times matters. I have learned that it is OK to reflect and allow myself to feel what I am. The key is not allowing myself to stay there long. Reflect and learn, refresh the mind, body, and spirit, and most importantly forgive ourselves, so we can move on.  Positive reminders, healthy habits, the people in my life are all tools that I use to get me back on the path to positivity. The power of positivity lives inside me! Being positive not only promotes happiness, it leads to better health. In addition, we become a part of helping and reminding others to be positive. More positive people can only help make the world a better place.

Positive Takeaways from #NPC17

As the National Association of Elementary School Principals (NAESP) state representative for Michigan Elementary and Middle School Principals Association (MEMSPA), I was fortunate enough to attend the combined principal conference in Philadelphia this month. The three main themes from my learning that resonated with me the most are relationships, empowerment, and mindfulness.

NPC17 in Philadelphia

Relationships
So many speakers confirmed the importance of relationships. Michael Schmoker referenced Hattie's work and a key focus is teacher-student relationships (.5-.7 effect size). Relationships with students, parents, community members, our teachers, and other administrators are crucial to school success. Kevin Carroll highlights the importance of play and the connections we make through it. We can build relationships through appreciation. Shelley Burgess and Beth Houf gave several strategies and tips to demonstrate appreciation. Several other presenters combined the importance of relationships with their topics. Christian Moore, Founder of "Why Try" stated that lasting change and motivation for youth involves relationships. "Relationships+Relevance = Resilience." One important aspect of positive and healthy relationships involves empowering those people to become the best versions of themselves.

Empowerment
In addition to the empower messages at the conference, I read the book Empower by John Spencer and A.J. Juliani on the trip to and from Philly. The messages around this theme support my district's teacher growth model (Danielson's "distinguished") to push our practices to be more student-centered approaches. I totally recommend this book!

In addition to the book, several speakers and presenters touched on the importance of empowering stakeholders in our schools and districts: teachers, students, and even our parents. We need to empower students by putting them in charge of their learning. We also need to empower teachers with the support and freedom to make this possible. The more growth people experience, the more they are empowered.

Christian Moore, shared powerful messages and tips for motivating students and teaching resilience.  He states, "Resilience is the greatest equalizer--It transcends race, gender, culture, socio-economic status...and literally an other aspect of your environment."

Mindfulness

"In teaching, you can't do the BLOOM stuff until you take care of the MASLOW stuff." -Beck

Sherry Turkle reminded us to work on social skills and being present. Carla Tantillo (Mindful Practices) models how to integrate social-emotional learning and promoting mindfulness with easy to use strategies.  (Check out her books.) Mindful practices will helps us to build resilience, growth, decrease stress, and help us to slow down and in turn be more productive.

We need to take care of self, so we can take care of our staff, and support and take care of our students. It's a collaborative, team effort to teach, love, and inspire our children. Thank you #NPC17 for reminding me of the importance of relationships, empowerment, mindfulness, and much more.