Remembering the Praise: Having a Positive Influence on Our Children

Now that our oldest child has become an adult, I have done a great deal of reflecting. I am so very proud of the people our kids are and know that they both are destined to do great things and continue to develop into compassionate, successful beings. My husband and I exhibit incredible work ethic. We both work two jobs and spend countless hours and thought on our work. Reflecting on my life, I have a great deal of drive to do well, be the best version of myself, and try and support and inspire others to do the same.

Over the last 18 years, I have used that drive to push our children. Now, I wonder about being too critical or having too high of expectations for them. Being a child of mine can't be easy. I am not sure that I have shared my admiration, appreciation, and pride with them enough.

Some parents may praise their children too much or maybe do not hold them accountable enough. I am mostly guilty of pushing too hard and not congratulating them enough for all they have accomplished. I am getting better now even though it has taken 18 years to do so. I am in awe at all Sydney has done and all she wants to become. As a leader and educator, I am thrilled that she wants to pursue education. I am so proud that she has spent two years in classrooms learning more about the art of teaching and solidifying her decisions so far. She also secured 3 different scholarships adding up to a little more than half of her first semester tuition at MSU.

Whether it's in sports, a test, a class grade, etc., it is important to not just praise the outcome but to praise the journey of work, overcoming adversity, and accomplishing success. Our son is coming up on his junior year in high school, the most difficult. I vow to include more praise combined with the expectations. We will also continue to work on modeling and promoting self reflection--an important component in success. In addition, even adult children need to know how much we as parents value them. I will not forget to remind both children the pride I have in being their mom and their efforts to be the best versions of themselves.

When a loved one takes pride in our work or in who we are, it can be not only fulfilling but also reinforce the desire for success. Is there someone you could share a little praise with for what he or she has done?